Day 4: A Habit You Wish You Didn't Have

What to choose? What to choose.....
I have a few:

I wish I didn't bite or tear at my nails when anxious/nervous/upset. They just start to grow to a nice pleasant length, and then something happens and they are all gone.
Likewise, I wish I didn't crack my knuckles. I'm really pretty good at it, and I read a something somewhere sometime that said that it doesn't actually give you arthritis, but what if it does?! I don't want to have arthritis or osteoarthritis when I'm old! Frankly, I don't really fancy the idea of getting old, but that's another story altogether.
Interrupting Cow Wh- MOO! I am really bad at not interrupting people. Well, I'm not particularly good at the whole conversation thing period. I don't often look people in the eye when I'm talking, instead my eyes shift spazzily around the room. Also, I interrupt them. If my brain has finished the sentence before you have, I'm ready to move on. It doesn't mean I'm not interested; it just means that I'm a jerk. Another conversational defect I have is jumping ahead in my own mind. My brain works faster at just thinking things than it does at putting together sentences or making my mouth say words. I will be talking and suddenly have moved on to something else. For my brain, it's the logical jump. For my fellow conversation-er, it's just hard to follow.
I'm sure I have dozens more, but these are the ones I thought of first.

Day 3: A Picture of You and Your Craziest Friends

How do you rank something like that? All of my friends are complete nutters.

I suppose I will have to choose my nieces and nephews. They are insane. In fact, just yesterday, I had to stop my car because one of them had her seatbelt unbuckled and her hand on the door handle... poised to jump out of the car and run like a madwoman through the Christmas lights.
Another of these crazies decided that he would take the problem of my spinsterhood into his own hands and write one of the professional athletes of the ReAL Salt Lake Soccer team asking him to please marry me. Luckily, I don't think Javier Morales reads letters with stickers covered in crayon scribblings very well.
Another nephew has a fascination with boobs. He isn't even quite aware of it (since he's only a year old), but he seems to be most comfortable when his hand is resting down his mother's or my shirt. We are hoping he gets over this before he starts dating.
They are all ready for a dance party at any one minute (which is pretty lucky, since I love me some dance parties).
One of my brother's has a couple of children who have decided to rename me "Kareena." Don't ask why. I'm not quite sure. This same batch of children not only know what a bindi is, but insist upon having one at all times... or at least all the times that they remember. This
is usually accomplished with a tube of my red lipstick.
All my kids are gross and naughty and hilarious. They are my best and truest friends. Unless the nintendo is on. Then I'm chopped liver.

Day 2: A Really Good Memory

I contemplated this one all day yesterday. I have had a good life. Probably better than the average if you consider the whole history of the world- especially the days before tampons or flushing toilets or the now common practice of taking daily baths.

After wracking my brain all day, my cousin posted something on my facebook wall that I think would work perfectly as the cherished memory:

"I'm watching Singing in the Rain and it's the part where Gene kelly is singing and dancing in the rain and the cop walks up and looks concerned. It made me laugh because I was thinking about when the same thing happened to you."

It's true. About a year ago we had one of those rains that is so rare in Utah. The storm was quite sudden, and the sun stayed out and the air and the water were so warm. It was delightful. I ran out into the rain, and this weirdly different rain different rain did what rain does in the movies - it soaked me immediately. Whenever it rains, I always stop whatever I'm doing to run out and dance in the rain, but this was the best and most danceable rain in which I'd ever had the pleasure to dance. I was wandering up and down the sidewalk, reveling in the weather, when a cop car pulled onto my street and parked just across from where I was. He slowly walked to me and said, "What are you doing?"

I was surprised, but unruffled, and said, "I am dancing in the rain. I love to dance in the rain."

He laughed (not in an amused way... in an "I-am-talking-to-an-actually-crazy-person way") and asked if I had called him. Well, as it turns out, he was responding to a call a few streets over, but I suppose I concerned him enough that he thought I might just be the reason for the call to the police.

This is a cherished memory. It reminds me of me. I am not at all embarrassed by this encounter. I think it is hilarious and an accurate portrayal of who I am.

Funny stories trump tender ones almost every time.

Day 1

So I want to blog, but as I have no idea what to blog about, I will swipe an idea from a dear friend of mine and do a forced blog post each day for 30 days. She's at about day 23, and the time seems to have flown by, so I think this will be an achievable goal for me.

Day 1: A recent photo of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

This is the most recent photo of me. I think I took it about a month ago. Mom was freaking out at me because I had sprayed my bangs with a hot pink spray and she is pretty sure that means I am moments away from piercing/ tattooing every inch of my skin. She is crazy, what can I say?

15 Interesting* Facts About Me

1- I can do the splits. That's right. Despite my generous girth, I am ridiculously flexible.

2- I love makeup and always have. I don't think it would be possible to have enough tubes of red lipstick. I would love to take some kind of special effects class so I can do all kinds of impressive things with makeup.

3-I have a degree in English, but I feel like I was never taught the basics - every teacher just assumed someone else had taught me. I'm not quite sure about a lot of things, such as: what IS a preposition, exactly?

4-I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. Every avenue terrifies me... including the current 'do nothing' one.

5-I hate when the word literal is misused. Today I heard a radio ad for windows and the ad included the phrase, "Don't let your money literally fly out the window! Buy such and such windows today to keep the heat inside your house this winter." I literally yelled at the radio, "No! You mean figurative! You absolutely mean figurative! It is a metaphor!" If you misuse it I judge you and think you are dumb.

6-My family makes up my circle of friends. I have some great friends from high school who I, unfortunately, don't get to see very often. My extended family is who I spend all my time with. I love them dearly and can't wait for Christmasweek when everyone will be at my house all the time to play with me.

7-I have never ridden a bike. Not one without training wheels, anyway.

8-I hate going to sleep. I love to be asleep and I wish I went to bed at a reasonable hour, but for some reason I just HATE going to sleep. Sometimes it gives me a stomachache just thinking about it.

9-I do not do sad/upsetting endings. There are almost no exceptions to this rule. I quit "Bones" after season 3 with fury raging in my heart, I was angry at Neil Gaiman for his ending in The Graveyard Book, I only watch the first half of Four Daughters because the end is too distressing. One of my favorite movies is Meet Me In St. Louis because there is virtually no conflict in the whole show.

10-I belong to a different era. Movies were better in the 40s, clothing was better in the 40s, hair was better in the 40s, makeup was cuter in the 40s, boys knew how to dance in the 40s. Still, there are things to like about the time in which I live. I like technology quite a bit.

11-I am very clingy. About 80% of the time I spend with you, I am fighting to not hold onto you physically. I am often successful... but not always.

12- Second best compliment of my life: "Damn Girl! Your eyes are GORGEOUS!" First: "You look like the girlfriend of a mobster from way back when."

13-I can't think of anything I want more in this world than a matter transporter.

14- I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy. I can't hear the word "duty" without laughing... as was made evident last week when dad said it during prayers.

15-I like being in big cities better than being just about anywhere else. I like the hustle. I like museums, I like concerts, I like the ballet. I have very classy taste. Except when it comes to television. Then I like the least classy thing available. Current favorites include: Jerseylicious, Cat Ladies, etc.

*Not guaranteed to be even vaguely interesting.

I made a new blog

I know. Why make a new blog, Karen, if you never write on the old one?

Well, part of the reason is that I hated the URL for my other blog.

Another reason is... no. That's pretty much it.

Now! Onward to THE PLAN. Stay tuned for some actual blogging.